Are you really this bored?

Update update!

2007-04-24T07:23:49Z

That's right.

(The tattoo's not mine. But the lifestyle is.)

Hmmm...

2007-04-11T07:15:13Z

I'm 20.

Huzzah?

Money?

2007-02-16T23:45:10Z

I just had an interview with the artistic director of Lord Leebrick Theatre Company.

I'm ASMing "Mother Courage."

Yay for paid theatre gigs!

A Complete 180

2006-12-08T19:51:56Z

Last night fell together in such a beautiful way.

I was surrounded by amazing people and really had a chance to sort through stuff. And I figured out something that hasn't been true for me for a long time:

I'm okay. I really am. I've realized my pattern and broken it. Now there's chaos, and it's wonderful.

So thank you to everyone that's been there.

I'm back.

Eff subjects...

2006-12-07T23:23:23Z

There are times in my life where I'm certain of almost everything.

And also there are times when I'm certain of almost nothing, even the things that go without saying.

This is the latter. (I couldn't even come up with a subject.)

Tell me. Anything. Everything. Let me know in no uncertain terms. All of you. Any of you.

You.

Let me be certain of something, positive or negative.

Comments screened, anonymous comments accepted...

Desires...

2006-12-05T15:55:45Z

RESPOND ANONYMOUSLY (or not, if you prefer).

Tell me something or things that you want.

It can be personal, interpersonal, sexual, primal, vindictive, whatever. You just have to want it.

Desire is the basis for everything we do... what drives you?

Comments are screened, so it's just between you and me.

Blargh

2006-11-22T04:14:54Z

The funk returneth.

I think I need to get out of this city for a while... I'm just not sure Hood River's the place to go to help get rid of whatever the hell this is.

I'm ready for something real. That's all.

Catharsis

2006-11-17T07:52:08Z

If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

I don't like lemonade.

When things are right and they turn out to be devastatingly wrong, I have a hard time dealing.

One of the things that shook me most about "New Voices" tonight was that this could all be over at any moment. Sure, it's unlikely; but the possibility is still there. And I don't tell people enough how much I appreciate them. And that's a horrible thing to never have said.

This isn't emo. This is real. And reality ~~can~~ does suck.

This is the story of the fish that got away. This is the story of a weathered, weary fisherman, too tired of tying new flies in hopes of finally finding something that a fish will bite. This is the story of strong, real emotion. This is the story of unbridled feeling. This is the story of me.

Times like this, I need to keep my faith: that everything happens for a reason, that you can't help it, that there's a lesson to be learned from every unfavorable situation, and that in the end you will come out stronger for it.

I do have so many things to be thankful for, and I can't lose sight of that. I'm getting an education. I'm building a resume and working toward a career. I'm good at most things I do. I eat regularly. And, most of all, I have wonderful friends.

And that needs to be enough. And it is enough. And I need to realize that and be content with the way things are.

But learning takes time. That's why I'm going to be in school for the rest of my natural life and still not know enough. That's why people live so long: so they can keep on learning.

This is enough disjointed rambling.

To those of you that have noticed and inquired (and to those of you who haven't, an update): I'm not okay. I will be, hopefully soon. But I have to learn, and... well, that takes time.

I love you. I appreciate you. I'll never take that for granted or assume it goes unsaid.

Something kinda funny...

2006-11-14T18:26:48Z

After I wrote that last entry, I read the "Emerald" and found my horoscope. I quote:

"By thinking things should be different from what they are, you're causing yourself undue stress. It's true they should be different, though -- and they will be when you focus on what's right about the situation."

Do I need any more of a sign?

Alone (Courtesy of Maya Angelou)

2006-11-14T18:17:50Z

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home

People come into my life just at the time I need them. It's funny like that, and... I don't know. Sometimes it gives me faith in something larger than myself.

I do believe in fate... and I believe that everything happens because that is how it is supposed to happen. I also believe that we, as humans, do have some hand in it... but I'm not sure how much, and whether or not that's a good thing.

I've been reminded lately of "Big Fish," for reasons in my life that may make sense to you, or may not. Either way, it's okay. Let's just say that, although I don't like to fish, trying to catch my own personal big fish is gratifying. Because at the end of the day, whether he's on my stringer or not, I'll know that I've done my best... I just hope I don't grow weary of being on the boat before I know for sure whether he's catchable or not.

(Did I take that metaphor too far?)

Lillis makes me hate my job. I want to run away and never come back.

I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some things...

2006-09-14T02:05:34Z

...that never stop being funny.

And this is one:

I will never cease to be amused by this.

Thank you, Morgan, for posting this oh-so-long ago for me :-)

Almost home!

2006-09-13T22:25:54Z

People that I am excited to see, including

Tali

Devika

Connie

Bonkey!

My Daughter, wherever she is...

Anne

Stevo

Johnny

KEVIN!

Charrrrrrrrrrrr

Alexx

McKenna

Baby!

Shaaaaaaa

Tam!

Gregory

Jared!

Shiz

Joyala

Lacey

DANA!

Michelle

Jason

Louis

JoeSK

Rachelmay

Doctor Tuch

Heidi

Mel!

Sister!

Hoagie

'Lexa!

I can't wait to see you all!

KISSES!

hractorguy @ 2006-08-30T08:58:00

2006-08-30T16:01:21Z

Life has a way of working out. Things are great now. I just had to give it time.

RESPOND ANONYMOUSLY!

Tell me a secret. I'll have the comments screened, so no one else will see it. RESPOND ANONYMOUSLY. Maybe it's something you've wanted to tell me, but couldn't. Maybe it's something you want to tell your best friend, but can't. Maybe it's something you just need to say, but have never had the chance. Whatever it is, say it. Pour it out. Post once, post ten times, just say what you need to.

I can't help myself...

2006-08-24T18:24:30Z

I have to do this one...

Comment and I'll do this for you.

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal.

hractorguy @ 2006-08-22T10:32:00

2006-08-22T17:41:54Z

Taken from here.

"Westboro Baptist Church to picket memorial for Petty Officer 2nd Class Marc A. Lee at 10:15 a.m., Saturday, August 26 -- at Expo Center, 405 Portway Ave., Hood River, Oregon.

...

America bombed our church with an IED (improvised explosive device) made by fag students at Washburn Univ. in Topeka. In His retaliatory wrath, God is killing Americans with Muslim IEDs: "Saying, Touch not mine annointed, and do my prophets no harm." 1 Chron. 16:22. "For it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Rom. 12:19. God Almighty killed Petty Officer Lee. He died in shame, not honor -- for a fag nation cursed by God: "Buried with the burial of an ass." Jer. 22:19. Cast into hell with his Navy pals.

They turned America over to fags; they're coming home in body bags."

I don't care who you are, what your politics are or your view on homosexuality. This is disgusting and wrong.

I can't believe they'll be in Hood River.

I'm glad I already have plans to be out of town that day.

It makes me sick.

Things I've Come Across...

2006-08-11T23:46:19Z

A chandelier made of barbie dolls

A poodle with a mohawk

The Whore of Babylon

O, Hood River...

2006-08-08T02:20:40Z

...how I despise thee.

I'm back, folks. For a month.

Help me make it fun.

Please.

That is all.

Life Update

2006-08-05T07:20:14Z

Greetings, my friends, from high in the hills of WHITE SALMON, WASHINGTON!!!! *applause*

As many of you know, I have given up my life as an undercover spy to become an overcover spy. Since I moved to the top of the bedding, things have been going extremely well.

My daughter, Mirabelle, is soon to be seven, and she is an aspiring harpsichordist. I couldn't be prouder. Although, I fear, leading the life of a musician will one day leave her Baroque. Haha, music humor.

Since the reinstitution of slavery in Kickitat County, I have come across a very hard worker by the name of Terra, whom I was able to acquire from your mom for very little dinero. She is sitting next to me right now, feeding me cream-filled ding-dongs.

My wife, Buffy, and our two dogs, Ingo and Penelope, have recently made it big in the vaudeville circuit. However, money is tough, and with the government now rationing our food, I fear we may have to eat Buffy. Ingo and Penelope carry the act anyway, so the loss wouldn't be to grave.

My recent trip to Madagascar has left me paralyzed and with three arms. Since I am paralyzed, however, my third arm is proving useless. My ass looks better than ever, though. So Terra and Buffy tell me.

OH! How could I forget? I have acquired ownership of the company that makes the lids for milk jugs.

My enemies are onto me, so I must make haste and leave.

Adieu!

Acid Rain

2006-06-04T09:46:57Z

My wonderful Indian hot bombshell totally made my night. "Tap that shit!" I love you, sweetheart.

"Invader Zim" is fucked. up. That should not be on television for children.

Dana, I'm going to miss you soooooo much over the summer! Not fair... :-(

I think that's all I have right now.

Muah!

Chronologically speaking...

2006-05-23T07:25:43Z

Friday: I get my LING 290 midterm back. I was genuinely worried about the exam before I took it, but didn't think that I did too poorly afterward. It turns out that I got 103%. Wow. I go to work, meet Alisyn, listen to "Panic!," then go usher for "Midsummer." It's amazing. I recommend it to everyone.

Afterward I opt out of going to the keg show, as I don't feel too keen on paying $8 for soda. I go home, read some of my stage management book, eat away my stress in the form of bad-for-you food, watch "Family Guy" and go to sleep. I wake up at 9:30 a.m. on

Saturday: I watch "Family Guy" with Steve and Marie. At around noon we go to the mall, where I am reminded how much I hate American consumerism. I am also amazed at the demographic that malls attract, as well as astonished at some of the people that are parents and the way they carry their infants.

At three we go to see "The DaVinci Code." It wasn't bad, but I thought it could be better. It was melodramatic at times, but I suppose that's just keeping true to the book.

That night, I go to Lord Leebrick to see "Sex Habits of American Women," which I thoroughly enjoyed, regardless of what anyone else says. Well, save for one actor. Afterward, Brian and I walk Gourangi home and then go back to his quad, where he introduces me to "Queer as Folk." This continues into the wee hours of

Sunday: Finally Brian and I get to sleep, but I don't sleep too well. Before I know it, it's 8 a.m. and we have to get up and go our separate ways. Even being sleep deprived, I felt better that morning than I have felt in a long time. I go home and try to sleep for about two hours before getting a call from Caryn, who has heard that auditions got moved from 2 to 1. I haven't heard this, but not wanting to appear as a bad stage manager I show up an hour early just to make sure. The auditions are at 2, so I am saved.

Auditions are long, and afterward I am supposed to go to the birthday party for the director of "Sex Habits" with Brian, but it is canceled. I stop by Sarah's house, and find that Brian, Mary and Anna are coming over for dinner, and I get invited to stay. I do.

It starts hailing sideways. And pouring. I, lacking a jacket or umbrella and being on my bike, decide I will ride home when the rain lets up. It doesn't. So Brian, Sarah, Allen, Jessica and I play Kings with wine, and we all go to bed. I resolve to get up early so I can make it to work on time on

Monday: I wake up at 6:30 on Monday after an extremely uncomfortable night crammed between Brian and the back of a futon. That boy does not move when he sleeps, and I do. Unfortunately, I had no room in which to do so.

I ride my bike to work in the rain, completely defeating the purpose of staying the night. I get to work soaked and exhausted, having had about six or seven hours of sleep over the past two nights. I haven't showered in two days, and I'm wearing the same clothes that I wore on Sunday. So, of course, I get hit on more than any other shift I've ever worked, as well as meeting my future husband, who is a 28-year-old lawyer from Houston who owns his own law firm. He doesn't know it yet, but I will not work a day out of college. :-)

After work I go to Sarah's and we have lunch. I skip Folklore, and show up to costume lab on time. I spend my whole time in storage, and then I go to Swahili to tell Marko that I have to leave to go to callbacks. Those were interesting, especially finding out that Jan Powell has a range of two-and-a-half octaves and can hit a high D. Casting will be tough for Jack.

After auditions, I come home for the first time in, like, a day and a half. I watch the series finale of "Alias" (sad...) and go to Common Grounds to get food. I come back, start my post, and don't finish it until early in the morning on

Tuesday.

That is all.

Update...

2006-05-03T20:17:07Z

Just to give you an idea of what's new in my life...

...I've become a Republican.

Ohh, stereotypes.

Inspiring...

2006-03-17T07:21:29Z

This is copied from the "Hood River News." It was a letter to the editor written by one of my friend's fathers (Pat Rawson, for those of you who know him).

It's something to think about.

"This week we recognize two important days that do not at first seem to have anything to do with each other, but may offer us an insight and a challenge. One day is March 17, St. Patrick’s Day; the other is March 19, the third anniversary of the Iraq War.

Having grown up in Ireland and worked there as an adult, it is not enough to sing sentimental ditties and drink green beer. For me, an integral part of being Irish is a deep awareness of what it is like to live in an occupied land.

Many of the songs we sang spoke of the yearning to be free of our foreign occupier. My father’s friend, Sean South, was killed on Christmas Eve while trying to free his fellow Irishmen from a British prison in Northern Ireland. Twenty thousand attended his funeral.

Although I try to consider myself a man of peace, I grew up to the thrill of Irish rebel songs including one whose refrain rang out, “And you dare to call me a terrorist, as you look down your gun …” How often the Irish heard the British occupiers declare that they were present in our country for our own good; that we didn’t know how to rule ourselves; that there would be a civil war if they left.

Occupiers always seem to justify their continued occupation by assuring the natives that “we know best what you need in your country.” Occupation, even with the best of intentions, is perceived as oppression by the occupied. The British finally left Ireland, and after 20 years left Iraq, unable to sustain an unrelenting insurgency in both countries.

Hopefully, as we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, we will soberly assess the destructive legacy of occupation and determine to end our own occupation of Iraq.

One can hardly celebrate Irish heritage while arrogantly defending a policy of foreign occupation. Anything less is sentimental drivel that does little to honor the true heritage of a great people."

Redemption!

2006-02-28T04:49:12Z

For everyone that did horribly on my first quiz, I give you three more chances...

My College Life

My Life in Hood River

And My Life Right Now

Take them. If nothing else, they'll distract you and you'll learn something about me.

Good luck.

I thought it might be fun...

2006-02-27T04:19:36Z

Take my quiz. Now. You know you want to.

It's easy. I promise.

Help me

2006-02-16T08:54:24Z

Why does the line between taking care of yourself and being self-serving have to be so blurry?

When does it become selfish to look out for yourself?

I really need some insight here... so please respond seriously.

And please respond.

Comments are screened, so it's between you and me.